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Know Jack #406 Marked Safe

I’ve heard that curiosity killed the cat. Though that is mutated from the original line it has stuck around for a long time. Having been declared the least curious person in the world by multiple sources, I’m running with it. I have found sufficient evidence in such sayings and the media to predict I just might have a long life.

It is true that, except for my characters, I don’t spend time pondering why people do things or how they come up with their ideas. I run like crazy from celebrity news, pop culture, and modern entertainment. I just don’t want to know. I don’t bother about the relevance of the ethics and scruples of presidential candidates or their families. I have a rather fatalistic view of modern politics in general which makes curiosity in the subject a non-starter for me.

Since only the good die young, I feel pretty safe there too. I’m too bland to be good and lack the zing to be bad. I don’t think you will ever see my neighbors on the news proclaiming my death a tragedy because I was such a saint. Well, that and I’m past young already.

I’ve seen intelligent people come to a tragic end when they do stupid things. Strangely though, it seems stupid people can do stupid things with impunity. Yet one more principle that seems to promise me reasonable longevity. As time and chance happen to all men, perhaps a factor in being among the fittest of our species is blind, dumb luck. That more than talent or intelligence works in my favor.

There are two more factors in favor of my continuing to age. The first is completely out of my hands and has occurred more or less by default—I’m already older than I ever thought I’d be. The other factor I stumbled upon (blind dumb luck?) later than most.

There may be one of the Ten Commandments that I haven’t broken. And wouldn’t you know it, that one comes with a promise. If you honor your mother and father, your days may be prolonged. It would be to my credit to say I did this by design, but that’s not true. It just came naturally.

I keep growing older, but you can mark me safe from ever growing up. I still laugh at puns involving the seventh planet and nursing humor involving bodily functions. I can’t resist those buttons on toys with the TRY ME sign. And I will watch every Three Stooges film I can find as many times as I can while quoting my favorite lines.

Niagara Falls!

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